It's only pretend, after all
by Mysteriousreader1990
Summary: Katniss is still pretending, even five years after the war. Short story set five years after the war that brought Panem to it's knees.
1. Chapter 1

It's only pretend, after all.

Katniss is still pretending, even five years after the war.

 **A.N. Short story set five years after the war that brought Panem to it's knees. The story will be about four chapters long, and will be Gale/Katniss. No Peeta bashing.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Chapter 1

 _Gale POV_

I woke up feeling groggy. I had lay on my stomach, so I rolled over and tried to remember what woke me up. My mouth was parched, so I stretched over to my night-stand and grabbed my glass of water, only to find it disappointingly empty.

The source of what aroused me from my slumber became apparent when I heard two soft knocks on my bedroom door. That was hard to get used to. For as long as I could remember, I shared a room with my three siblings whilst my mother slept on the old beaten down couch that had springs poking from it. She no longer could sleep in the bed she once shared with my father. So Vicky and Posy shared that one, whilst Rory and I shared the other. Now though we all slept in a large five bedroomed home, with plush, over stuffed sofas, and thick, foamy mattress topping each four poster bed. A reward for my part in the rebellion. Five years on and I still wasn't used to it. It was missing someone very important.

The knocking persisted dragging me out of my musings. "I'm not hungry, mum," I said irritably. My normal response.

I hardly ate these days, I hardly done anything. Signed off work with 'post traumatic stress', all I done was lay in bed, wallowing in my misery. With having gained so much money the first three years of working, I had enough money to support my family for years to come, so work became unnecessary. I had lost interest, began going in late, leaving early, skipping days all together, so I was signed off as sick.

I wasn't sick though, well not physically at least. My heart was though, it was slowly breaking into pieces, and I began to lose the will to survive. I lost her, so I seen no reason to carry on.

"It's Posy," the soft voice of my sweet little sister called. I smiled despite my grief.

"I'm not hungry, Posy." I repeated.

She ignored me and opened my door any ways. She smiled at me brightly and handed me a glass of water. I drank it greedily.

"You need to eat." she said sadly. I looked into her sad, pale-liquid grey eyes and sighed heavily. She was only eight, and wise beyond her years. She worried about me daily, and she had a right too. I was thin, like I used to be back when we all were starving back in twelve. My skin was sallow, and pale, not drinking enough, and having not seen sunlight in years. I looked like a walking corpse.

"I'll eat later, I promise." I said.

"What about going for a walk outside? Hunt?" she said timidly. I tensed.

"No." I ground out. I couldn't it was too painful. It didn't feel the same without _her_.

"But..." she began, but I wouldn't let her finish.

"No, Posy!" I yelled, she jumped in fright. "No hunting." I said in a softer tone.

"Fine!" she huffed and stormed out.

I sighed and laid back down on my bed. Images flickered in my mind, and I groaned in pain. Images of a tall, svelte, brunette, with gun metal grey eyes, and olive-toned skin. Her trade mark braid fell on her shoulder, her chocolate brown hair, highlighted by the sun. Bow and arrow in hand, she looked at me intensely.

"Katniss," I whispered into the darkness. I rolled over and shut my eyes tight. Trying in vain to block out the memory of my love.

It didn't work, it never did.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _Katniss POV_

I woke up with a start, and bolted upright. I was drenched with sweat and panting heavily. Someone had said my name. No. _He_ had said my name.

I had heard him whisper my name, and it felt as if he was lying right beside me. I felt all around me frantically, as if trying to convince myself that it was a dream.

I breathed in deeply, and breathed out one, two, three, four. Several minutes passed and I was able to calm myself. Convinced that it was just a dream. Of course it was. I would never hear _him_ say my name again.

Looking at my clock I sighed. Five-fourty, I wasn't going to get back to sleep so I got up and went for a shower. Shaking off the remnants of my dream. I couldn't afford to think of _him_. It caused too much pain.

After drying off, I dressed in my usual hunting gear. Not entirely usual, in the way that it was all new from the Capitol, but I had wore it every day since coming back. Black trousers that were fitted, and a dark long sleeved tee. I laced up my boots, also new, and did my hair in a braid.

I looked to the frame that hung on my wall, with a slight smile. It was my dad's hunting boots, which were always too big for me, framed with some kind of hard plastic, and black painted wood. A gift from Effie on my last birthday. The new boots were from Haymitch. I lifted three fingers to my lips and pressed a kiss onto them, before touching the frame. A morning ritual that I always done before hunting.

I headed out the door and down to the kitchen. Greasy Sae was already here cooking my breakfast, an early riser like me, she and I had become accustomed to having breakfast together. After all I couldn't cook, and she was lonely.

The day after I returned from the Capitol, I remember being surprised to find her in my kitchen. 'You need fattening up,' was all she said, before going back to her work, and from then on, twice a day, we ate together. I provided the food, and she provided the company.

After breakfast I grabbed my bow and arrow, and my father's old hunting jacket. I left to go and do my favourite activity.

The sun was barely up, being only six-thirty, but I relished in the quietness. I loved the seam at this time, so peaceful and quiet. Barely a soul stirred. It was calming, like a balm on my fractured soul.

I allowed myself a glance at Peeta's house, he was still sleeping, as usual, I smiled and carried on. I owed so much to Peeta. He arrived back home six months after the war, almost back to normal thanks to the Capitol's relentless work. I however, was catatonic. I barely ate, nor slept, and hadn't talked to anyone since my return. I just sat and stared into the distance, reliving the horrible nightmare of Prim dying right before my eyes.

Peeta slowly began talking to me, about mundane things, then talks turned to the rebuilding of the town, and finally to Prim. He helped me remember the good times, and I slowly began to talk. Soon I was showering, and eating, and after two years, I had my routine. He had gently reminded me that Prim would have wanted me to go on living. So I did.

I found solace in the woods, that were covered in Primroses. I began to live again, yet I wasn't really alive. I never would be, because not only did I not have Prim, but I had lost _him._ _H_ _e_ whom was the second most important person to me, and it left a great gaping hole in my very soul.

The war changed us, Peeta and I, so nothing ever became of our love. We grew apart, and became different people. But we had a solid friendship, and a love for each other that could only come from the bond over the shared horror that we had faced.

There was only one person whom I could be in love with, but that love was wrong. For he killed my sister, and it shamed me to yearn for _him_.

My day went on as normal, I hunted, traded with Sae in the hob, bought some fresh vegetables for dinner. Went home, skinned my game. Had lunch with Peeta and Haymitch, went into town to lend a hand with any rebuild I could. Had dinner, and settled down in front of the roaring fire in my kitchen. That was my favourite end of the night activity. The fire felt peaceful, and calming. Despite the havoc it had reeked in the past.

Yes. All was quite as it usually was. Until I heard a knock in my front door. I looked at the clock on the wall before turning my attention to the front door, as if I could magically see through it and see who was on the other side. It was nine-fourtyfive. Too late for it to be Sae, or Peeta, and Haymitch's knock was gruffer, so who was it?

The knocking persisted, so deciding that it was better to answer it, then to stare at the door as if it was a bomb ready to explode, I got up and slowly walked to the door.

I was not prepared for who was on the other side of it when I eventually opened it.

"Posy?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _Gale PO_ _V_

My sleep was disturbed yet again later that night, only this time by my frantic brother, Rory.

"Gale, come on, get up, mom's looking you," he said as he roughly shook me awake.

"Why?" I asked irritably, not moving an inch.

"Posy's gone, she's ran away!" he said desperately. I fell out of my bed in shock. Why on earth would Posy run away? It didn't make sense. I rushed to get dressed and thundered down the stairs, and into the kitchen where mom and the boys were waiting.

"Mom, what's going on?" I asked, my heart hammering in my chest.

"She left...this morning... for school..." she choked out in between sobs..."she was mad...after talking...to you...and she...never...turned up." I looked up at the clock it was ten at night. Posy had been missing for thirteen hours.

"Mom it's ten at night, why didn't you wake me earlier?"

"I was looking for her," Rory said. I sighed and put my head in my hands panic was gripping at my heart and threatening to take over. I needed to try remain calm.

"She said something about making things right, like they used to be. Before she left for school this morning." My youngest brother, Vick supplied.

Making things right? What did that mean? Then it clicked, hitting me like a lighting bolt. An image of Katniss formed in my mind and I knew.

"She's gone to twelve," I said before rushing out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **A.N. Hope you all like it. I'm quite new to writing Hunger Games fanfiction. I apologise for any errors in grammar, I'm not very good at it ;P.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

 **A.N. I added a few more details to this chapter and I think it had helped with the flow of the story.**

 _Katniss POV_

I stared at the young girl in shock. The once tiny girl I had known had grown exponentially. Her hair was now long, and wavy, instead of the short crop that I was used to. She had grown several feet, and I could already tell she was going to be as tall as Gale. The only thing that remained the same was her big bright eyes.

Why was she here? Was everything OK? Was Gale OK? I realised that I had been silent for two long, and scrambled for something to say.

"Is...what...Hi" I stammered.

"Hi, Katniss. Gale is fine, sort of. Can I come in?" Posy babbled, before rushing past me into the house.

I simply stared at the spot where the little girl had been for a long moment before shutting the door and following the youngster inside.

"Posy, does your mom know you're here?" I asked before she had a chance to speak. Guilt swept across her innocent face and my heart sank.

I rushed over to the house phone and rang mom's number immediately. I didn't have a contact for Hazel, but I knew mom would. She answered on the third ring.

"Mom?" I said breathlessly, feeling oddly panicked.

"Katniss darling, how are you?" Mom's voice was delighted. I immediately felt guilty. I really should call her more.

"I'm fine, thanks. Listen, Posy has just turned up at the house, only thing is she didn't tell Hazel where she was going."

"Oh dear," she said worriedly. "OK, I'll call her now."

"Thanks Mom, I'll call you tomorrow?"

"OK darling, night."

"Night."

I hung up and turned to the guilty eight year old who was standing with her head bowed in front of me.

"Gale is going to kill you. You know that, right?" It felt weird saying his name. Like I was somehow betraying Prim. OK, Katniss, breathe.

"Yes, but he's the reason I'm here. " she said shyly.

"Yeah, I figured." I sighed heavily. My heart was hammering in my chest. Whatever was going on it wasn't good. For Posy to make the long ten hour journey, it was bound to be really bad. I just didn't know whether I was prepared to hear it. "Come on, you must be starving," I added not knowing what else to do with the eight year old, and led the way into the kitchen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _Gale POV_

My heart hammered painfully in my chest as I boarded the final cargo train to district twelve. It was the last one of the night, and a direct route. So the journey was only going to take eight hours.

Passengers weren't normally allowed to travel on a cargo, but after speaking to my good friend Thatch, and frantically explaining my situation, he let me board. With the promise that I'd set him up with Natty. A girl that had become irritatingly infatuated with me. I agreed in order to be able to board and locate my sister. I had no intention of fulfilling my frivolous promise. That's one of the things I hated about district two, you always had to barter. Sure it was one of the staples of life in twelve, but there it had a different meaning. We bartered for food, and other essentials, not cheap thrills, and women.

I walked the length of the cargo train and decided to make myself comfortable in amongst the silks, and furs, and other materials, of one of the carriages in the hopes that it would help me sleep.

My head was light from all the fresh air that I was so unused to, and my stomach in knots. I knew I had to go and get Posy, but that also meant that I would probably have to see her again, and I honestly wasn't prepared at all.

It made me feel slightly angry that Posy would put me through this. Then, I realised, with a heavy heart, that she done this for me. To try to help me get better. If I had been a better brother to her then she wouldn't have run off. It was all my fault.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I awoke abruptly some time later when the train gave a jolt. I glanced outside the window and realised that we were pulling into district twelve. The knots began to get tighter in my stomach, and my heart hammered in my chest. I had a distinct feeling that I wasn't going to be able to avoid her. I honestly wasn't prepared to see her at all.

Once the train stopped, I was able to sneak off undetected more easily than normal, due to the fact that it was only seven in the morning, and workers were usually only waking by now.

I left the station and turned left, walking the forty minutes in the direction of my old house. I felt weak and dizzy, having had nothing to eat in two days, and every muscle was protesting with each step. But I pushed on. I had too, for Posy.

My heart began to ache as the sights around me became familiar, and strange all the same. Lots of new buildings, and homes had been erected, yet the whole place still reminded me of her.

I ducked my head down as I got closer to the town, not wanting anyone to see me. It pained me to look at the scenery that screamed Katniss.

I made it to the pile of rubble that used to be my house, and my breath caught in my throat. I hadn't been here in five years, but the sight was just as disturbing as the first time I had seen it.

Our house was a small two storey shack, that leaked water, and creaked whenever a small gust of wind hit it, and honestly it was too small for a family of five. But it was built by my dad, and a home made of love, happiness and family, and honestly, I missed it. Now it was nothing but a pile of ash. It broke my heart.

I was snapped out of my melancholy state by a small, sweet voice, that carried all the way down the lane. Posy! I had found her.

I turned in the direction the sound of the voice came from, and almost toppled over. I steadied myself and called out to her.

"Posy!" I cried out. She looked up, distracted by me calling her name.

She smiled brightly and ran to me, I quickly made my way to her and we collided half way down the lane. I fell to my knees and crushed her to my chest.

"Posy, thank God!" I exclaimed, pressing kisses into her hair and squeezing her tighter.

"Air, Gale. I need air!" she gasped.

I reluctantly released her and thoroughly looked her over. I could see no injuries, and she didn't look distressed. I sighed in relief.

"You near gave me a heart attack! What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry, Gale. But you've just been so sad about Prim—"

"That's exactly why you can't do things like this, Posy!" I interrupted her. "I wouldn't be able to cope if I lost you too." I choked out, barely able to control my panic.

"I'm so sorry, Gale." she said sadly, she threw her arms around me and I returned her hug gratefully. "I had to do something!" she declared.

I looked at her confused for a moment before turning my gaze to the person whom she had been accompanied by.

My breath caught in my throat once again when I realised who it was. I didn't really want to believe that she was the reason Posy came here. I hoped against all hope that maybe she was just coming to our old home. To find peace. But that was wishful thinking. Because there she was, standing thirty feet away with an inscrutable expression upon her beautiful face.

"Katniss." I breathed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _Katniss POV_

I barely slept. Posy had chattered away for an hour and a half before running out of steam and falling asleep at the table. I had gently lifted her and carried her into the living room where I laid her on the couch. I draped a blanket over her slim body, and placed a kiss into her temple. I settled myself onto the oversized chair so that I could keep an eye on her.

Instead though, I ended up thinking if him, and all the things Posy had told me. He had lost interest in everything, he rarely ate, he slept all day and night, stopped socialising, and the biggest shocker was he was signed off work as sick. Gale had never been too ill to provide for his family, ever. One year we had a real bad winter, and he suffered badly with a heavy flu, but everyday he still came with me hunting. I guess there was just a real need for it back then. Not now though, everything was different now.

Confliction weighed heavily on my chest; suffocating me. My mind was glad that he was suffering, after all the pain he had caused. I was glad he was getting retribution. But my heart, the betrayer of my sanity, physically hurt at the thought of him suffering. I wanted to comfort, and hit him at the same time. It was maddening.

I gave up on sleep at around four, and dedicated my time to cleaning and cooking breakfast for the three of us. Sae had came around half six, her usual time, and was alerted to my unexpected guest by the loud snoring that was emitting from the gangly girl.

"Is that Posy?" she had asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah, she turned up at around ten last night."

"No Gale?" she asked seemingly innocently, but I still caught the twinkle in her eye.

"No. But she didn't tell anyone she was coming here, so it probably won't be long until one of them follows." I huffed.

"Interesting." She said slyly. Then left without another word, or any breakfast. I shook my head at her odd behaviour and turned back to the task in hand. I had to much to worry about, and no time to dwell on Sae's odd behaviour.

The smell of food proved to be too tempting to resist, and Posy soon followed the smell into my kitchen.

"Smells lovely, Katniss." she said happily. I smiled in return. "Have you got any fresh bread?"

"Oh no, I don't." I said taken aback by her boldness.

"Can we get some?"

"Umm," I mused. I looked at the clock in the wall, it was only seven. Peeta would only be waking up now. After the hijacking Peeta's need for sleep increased as his body recovered from the trauma that it had been subjected to. He needed to be in bed early, and have a full nine hours of sleep, otherwise his mind would relapse from exhaustion. So, he would start the day off slow and steady. Baking fresh bread for Haymitch, himself, and me, then going to the bakery for eleven.

The bakery however opened at half seven, so for now it was our only source of fresh bread.

"We can go to the bakery?" I suggested. She nodded enthusiastically, and I couldn't help but smile. "Go and get your coat, and I'll put the food in the oven to keep warm." she ran off excitedly.

I switched on the oven to the lowest setting and placed the plates inside. I grabbed my keys and my jacket and headed for the front door, where Posy was already bouncing excitedly.

We set off on the short ten minutes trek to the new bakery. Posy excitedly talking about anything and everything the whole way there. I could hardly keep up. She was a bundle of energy, and it made me wonder how Hazel managed.

We came to the lane where the Hawthorn home used to sit upon, and I could feel my chest restrict. I usually avoided this place at all costs. But Posy had led me down this way, and I was so busy trying to keep up with her that I didn't realise until it was too late.

We were half way down the narrow lane when a familiar, frantic voice stopped us both in our tracks. Looking up, my heart literally stopped in my chest as I clapped eyes on him.

"Gale?" My voice was barely above a whisper, and the sound unable to reach his ears. I felt the seams of my sanity slowly ripping open.

Posy ran to him, but I was rooted to the spot. Unable to move, I could only watch as he hugged her tightly. Telling her how much she had frightened him. Jealousy crept in, and I felt anger bubble up inside of me. He didn't deserve this moment. He didn't deserve to feel relief at finding his sister, not when my sister was buried six feet under because of him. It wasn't fair. He should be the one suffering not me.

I heard Posy say Prim's name, and my anger dissipated, as if her name was a trigger, a balm that soothed me. It was then that I had realised that I had wished for Posy's death. Sickness welled in my gut. What kind of monster had I become?

He hadn't noticed me, too occupied with making sure that Posy was OK. So I took the chance to look at him fully whilst he was distracted. He was painfully thin, maybe even thinner than he ever was. His skin was sunken and sallow, his eyes haunted. A shadow of his former self. The sight broke my heart, and brought a tear to my eye.

He finally realised that I was standing there. With a gasp he uttered my name, and I almost broke down then and there. But I managed to hold it together as he slowly came walking towards me. Tightly gripping Posy's hand. I however, was still rooted to the spot.

"Tha – thanks for looking after her,"he stumbled over his words, clearly nervous. "I feel better now, knowing that she was safe." I blushed at the complement.

"The little madam didn't give me much choice." I laughed nervously. It was Posy's turn to blush. "Do you want to come back to mine? I made breakfast." I asked in a rush.

"We have to go, mom's frantic." He replied. He looked uneasy.

"Oh no! Sorry Gale." Posy said again. He smiled at her sweetly and brushed a hand over her hair affectionately.

"It's OK," he said softly.

"Oh, I called my mom as soon as she arrived. She said that she would let Hazel know."

"She and the boys are probably on their way here then." He mused.

Oh crap! Thought Posy. Not the boys. Where Gale was too soft with her, Rory was tough, and she was sure he'd give her a good clip round the back of the head for putting mom through such worry.

"Don't worry Posy," Gale said as he saw her unease. "If Rory touches you, I'll give him a good boot up the rear end."

Posy grinned in response, and I couldn't help but chuckle. This brought their attention back to me and I immediately began to feel awkward.

"You might as well come and wait then." I said. I turned back into he direction of my house and began walking away. Without waiting for a reply. Posy was hungry after all, and I knew Gale would have no choice but to follow.

We sat in a tense silence as Posy and Gale scoffed their breakfasts. I made extra, since Gale looked so thin, and he threw me a grateful look before scoffing that down as well.

A few converted glances when we thought the other wasn't looking was apparently all Gale and I could muster. Was that really what out relationship had become? Two people with a bond as strong as ours had practically became strangers to one another. We really had been ripped apart by the war.

Posy sensed the tension, so I decided to go hunt before she had the chance to say anything on the matter.

I excused myself from the table and went to fetch my boots, once they were laced up, I grabbed my bow and arrow and went back down. I realised with annoyance that I had left my dad's hunting jacket in the kitchen. I gave a great sigh and went back in to the room.

"I'm going out for a hunt," I said as I grabbed my jacket, "Stay here until your mum gets here, to keep warm." It was only when I looked up I realised that Gale was giving me the most intense look of confusion I had ever seen on his face.

"What's up?" I murmured nervously.

"You still hunt?" Gale croaked.

"Yeah." I said just as confused. Then a horrible thought crossed my mind. "Don't you?" I asked in surprise.

"No." he said with a steely tone, and breaking eye contact. I blanched. That, I wasn't expecting. The thought never even crossed my mind. Why though?

"Oh," I replied softly. I didn't know what else to say. "Well I'll be gone a while. Please stay?" I practically begged. I didn't know why but the thought of them disappearing whilst I was hunting scared me to my very core. He simply nodded, still not looking at me. He seemed heart broken. Was I the reason he had given up hunting? Was he hurt that I hadn't?

I took my leave and headed out the door. My head was spinning with all the unanswered questions. Now I had something else to ponder over. It was going to be a long hunting trip, and I doubted that I'd be able to catch very much. I selfishly wished that Hazel would come soon rather than later. I was beginning to go out of my mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A.N. I wasn't expecting it to take this long for me to update. I had difficulty getting the right ending to this chapter. It still feels off to me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **A.N. So this chapter will be out of character for Hazel, and for Katniss. But I want to show the heavy effects a war can have on different people, that's why Gale is out of character in this story.**

 _Katniss POV_

It has been two days since I'd seen Gale and Posy. Hazel came and collected them whilst I was on my hunt. I'd came home to a quiet, empty house. No note was left, so goodbye, small or big. It honestly hurt. But what else did I expect? I had cut him out of my life when the bomb he designed was used to kill my sister. I tried to focus on that, focus on the reason for us being ripped apart, but all I could think about was how broken I felt without him.

My façade that I had spend years building up was crumbling. I had forced myself into a routine, and helping with the rebuild in order to forget my pain. I didn't want to face my demons, and heal. It was just too painful. So instead I blotted it all out and forced myself to be 'normal'. Only now the cracks were starting to appear, and I wasn't the only one who'd noticed.

When Peeta and Haymitch came by for lunch, they were quite shocked to find me sitting by the fire in my kitchen, my breakfast sat on the table, untouched. I hadn't even made the effort to go hunting. I didn't feel like it.

They both tried to coax me into eating, each one taking turns in trying to get a conversation out of me. But it didn't work. All I did was stare into the fire, as if the answers to all my life's problems lay in the bright embers.

I'd heard Gales name being tossed about angrily. Blame lay upon him for daring to come back to twelve. But it wasn't his fault. The problem lay with me. I had choked back my emotions for so long that I no longer knew how to handle them.

Haymitch had expressed his relief in the news that the Hawthorns were heading back to district two the very next day, and it was that bit of news that snapped me out of my melancholy.

I found my nerves getting the better of me as I walked to the temporary residence of the Hawthorns. They had been housed in one of the plush three bedroom apartments that had been recently built upon the outskirts of the town.

I had decided to go and say goodbye, and to try to talk to him. I didn't know why though, I had no idea what I was going to say to him. But I felt this overwhelming need to see him, and apparently it was not to be ignored.

So, that's how I found myself knocking on the their door and awaiting the answer with baited breath.

Vick answered, to my relief, and utter dismay. "Oh hi, Katniss," his surprise was evident, and so was mine. Now eleven, Vick had grown substantially, tall and gangly like Gale with the same slate grey eyes, and unruly mop of brown hair, he was Gale's spitting image.

"Is Gale here?" I asked not able to hid my surprise at the boy who stood before me.

"No, but you can come in and wait, he's just went to see Thom." He stood aside and motioned for me to come in. I didn't really want to, now that I was here my need to run was overwhelming, but I couldn't be rude.

So with a muttered thanks I entered the home.

It was large and overly white. Plush furniture and carpets adorned the rooms, and everything looked clinical. Nothing had any personality to it, and it certainly didn't have a homey feel. The door immediately opened up to a large sitting room, with two plush couches, an overstuffed armchair, and the latest television. To the left hand side of the sitting room was the kitchen, where I could see Hazel standing washing the dishes. Old habits die hard. And to the right was a corridor which I'm sure led to the three bedrooms and bathroom.

Vick had already went to his room, so I decided to go and seek out Hazel. She was like a second mother to me, and I missed talking to her greatly.

I stepped into the kitchen and gave a little cough to signal that I was there. Hazel turned round in surprise, but upon seeing me her stare turn to steely.

"Gale's not here." she said roughly. I blanched. Hazel was always so sweet towards me, why was she acting so gruff?

"I know, Vick said."

"We'll be out of here soon enough, no need to go upsetting him even more."

"Excuse me?"

"No need for no goodbyes." she snapped harshly. "Gale is doing alright without you."

"Not from what I've seen." I said disbelievingly.

"We'll it's your fault he's in this mess. But, he'll be alright soon enough, we'll get him through it."

"My fault?" I asked incredulously, how on earth could this woman think this was all my fault.

"Yes. You know I used to think of you as such a lovely girl. Part of the family. The Hawthorns and Everdeen's, one big happy family. Everyone else thought so too. You and Gale were inseparable...well that was until Snow got his claws into you. You let him get into your mind and rip apart the strongest couple I'd ever seen. You discarded us all like trash, you tore my son's heart apart!"

"Gale killed my sister!" I yelled.

"Oh, piss off!" she yelled back. "Gale couldn't have killed Prim any more than he could Posy! He loved Prim, they became very close as they watched you go through those games. Became a shoulder to cry on for each other as they watched you fall apart after the Quell. Gale loved her, loved her like he loves Posy. And I had never seen him so devastated than I did when he got the news that she'd been killed. He tore that Palace apart trying to find her, he didn't believe it until he saw her for him...himself."

She paused as the emotions overcame her, and I tried to choke back the sickness that welled in my gut. I didn't know what to say.

"Gale was a pawn in that war! Coin used him. She preyed on his weakness, on his anger over what Snow had done to his father. She got into his head and she used that anger, and the passion he had for protecting you only fuelled her more.

"He blames himself every single day for being weak enough to let a poisonous woman like her into his mind! She took his ideas and turned them into weapons. She sent Prim to the front line to try to rattle you, to make you weaker. To take everything you loved away from you, and you let her!

"Gale didn't know Prim was there any more than you did. He didn't even know that his ideas had been made into weapons. Killing a bunch of kids was never in his game plan, even Capitol kids. That's what he was trying to fight against, and if he'd have been given the choice he would sooner have turned traitor.

"Yet, if the shoe had been on the other foot, he wouldn't have blamed you, not for one second." And with that final blow, Hazel stormed out of the kitchen.

I couldn't breathe. Everything she'd said was true. Yet I refused to acknowledge it because I needed to blame someone, and I'd chosen Gale. Even though he was suffering just as much as I was. He was used as a pawn in Coins games, and I blamed him for it instead of her.

The walls began to close in on me, so I bolted. I vaguely heard Posy calling my name. But I couldn't stop. The damn had broken, and all the pain, and suffering, and heartbreak of the last five years was spilling out of me all in that very second.

I managed to make it back home, though I didn't know how. I'd caught glimpses of Haymitch and Peeta, but I ignored their pleas as I raced up to my bedroom. I needed to shut myself away. I found a tight corner in between my wardrobe and wall, and wedged myself in tight.

I needed to block out all pain, and heartache, but it wouldn't work. Nothing was going to work now. I had broken.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Peeta was furious. Never more so had he been than in that moment. Gale was nothing but trouble, always had been. Now that he was back here. He was causing devastation. Katniss was a wreck. She had retreated back into herself. Like she was when he first came back, but he'd worked too damn hard for her to just retreat again. Gale may have been leaving but he was going to make damn sure Gale got a piece of his mind before he did.

He stormed over to the apartment that Gales family temporarily lived in and hammered on the door a bit too hard. He heard Gale swear as he came to the door.

Gale was surprised to find an enraged Peeta on the other side of the door. He wasn't expecting to see the baker boy at all.

"What?" He asked roughly. Very aware that he was facing an enraged victor.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" Peeta snapped. Gale didn't respond, he didn't know what to say in response.

"She was happy, she was slowly moving on, and now you've came and wrecked it all."

"I came here for my sister, not Katniss." he said. His heart was pumping hard. Something must've happened for Peeta to get so enraged.

"Yeah well now you've undone all my hard work. She was better!"

"Peeta," he sighed, "I have no idea what you're babbling on about. What happened to Katniss?"

"Oh, you know!" Peeta snapped. "What ever it was you said to her has sent her right back into herself. She has been holed up in a corner of her room from this morning. Neither Haymitch nor myself have been able to get through to her, she just stares into the distance, muttering to herself."

Gale paled. "I haven't spoken to Katniss in two days!" he said. He left a bewildered Peeta standing at the door and went in search of his mom.

"Mom?" He called. He found her in her bedroom, packing up the last of her stuff. "Mom, did Katniss call here?" His mother hung her heard in guilt.

"Yes, she did, as a matter of fact." she said meekly. She was surprised to see fear cross her sons face.

"Mom, what did you say to her?" he asked tensely.

"I told her some home truths." she snapped. Gales face paled.

He didn't say anything else to his mom, he was too enraged. Instead he bolted out of the room faster than she'd seen him move in a long time. "We leave in half an hour Gale!" she called out to her son, but he ignored her pleas.

He ran past a confused Peeta, too focused to pay attention to the questions that Peeta was firing him. Katniss needed him. He had to tell her that whatever his mom said wasn't true.

Fuelled by panic and a renewed energy from eating three meals a day for the past two days, he made it too Katniss' home in just a few short minutes. But was hastily stopped by an enraged Haymitch.

"Hold up, pretty boy" he snipped. "She doesn't need you in there upsetting her more."

"I didn't say anything to her!" Gale snapped. "I haven't seen her in two days."

"Sure." he said disbelievingly. "So she just came home, upset for no reason?"

"She had a run in with my mom—"

"Oh! So you just thought you'd come and finish the job?"

"No! I came to make things right!" Gale snarled. Peeta had managed to catch up, and Haymitch was grateful. He could see the fire building back up I'm Gale. The fire, he was sure, had burned out with the loss of Katniss.

"You can't make thing right with Katniss, you'll never be able to make things right with her again, so why don't you just do yourself a favour, and go back to two."

"No! I'm not leaving her when she needs me, not again. I let you force me into walking away once before, but not again. Now move out of my way Haymitch, or I will move you!" He pushed passed him, but in the end Haymitch didn't put up a fight. He knew that nothing was going to stop Gale from going to Katniss.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Katniss POV.

Everything was dark. My thoughts had consumed me, and I succumbed to them willingly. Not seeing any point in fighting them any more. There was fire. Over and over I watched as Prim burned, then my mum, and Gale. That was new! And pretty horrific.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I could hear voices, but I could not distinguish them, nor what they were saying. I was too lost in my grief. I had treated Gale horrendously. And now I was suffering.

I soon began envisioning Gales death more, at my own hands. Instead of Marvel, it was Gale I'd killed, Cato, the poor man from ten, Coin, Snow. They all turned into Gale, dying at my hands. The grief was all consuming. I turned away from the horrific scenes, trying to get away from the pain, but each time I was met with a new vision of Gale dying. It seemed never ending. Each scene flickered in my minds eye over and over, each time becoming more bloody and violent. And just when I thought that I was about to loose my mind, he called my name.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gale rushed up to her room. His heart hammering harder than it ever had before. He found her quickly, and his heart literally stopped at the sight.

Katniss was sitting huddled tight in a corner, the way she used to do in thirteen. She was staring straight ahead, unblinking. Clearly seeing something that he couldn't. He gently walked towards her, like he would if he was stalking his prey. She never flinched. She clearly couldn't hear him. As he got closer he realised that she was muttering something.

" _He is mine, and I am his_ " over and over the words fell from her mouth. He wondered who she was talking about. He doubted it was himself. She didn't feel that way about him, he'd come to terms with that a long time ago.

He however, was still utterly in love with _his_ girl on fire, and felt he always would be. He had a connection with her like no other, no one could replace her in his heart.

He gently knelt in front of her and brushed a hand down her arm. She didn't flinch. She was too far gone. He looked towards the doorway, where Haymitch and Peeta stood with a hopeless expression. They wore the same look. They didn't know how to help her.

"Catnip?" He said tenderly. He wasn't expecting a response. He didn't know why he used her nickname. He hadn't in so long. It just tumbled from his lips automatically.

Her head snapped up to his and her eyes focused on him. He held his breath as reality came back to her. Holding her gaze he waited. She blinked a few times. As if she was adjusting to light.

"Gale?" she whispered broken-heartedly. He smiled slightly, tentatively. "Gale!" she said with more strength, and too his utter surprise she launched herself at him.

He caught her easily, they wobbled a bit, but after he steadied them, he wrapped his strong arms around her tightly. They hadn't touched each other in five years, and he realised then just how much he'd missed her, and how at home he felt with her in his arms. She buried her face into his chest and the dam broke, her heart breaking, and sobs ensued. She sobbed harder than she ever had before.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **A.N. Well this took longer to write than expected. I hope you enjoy it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **A.N. Sorry for taking so long to post this chapter. I hope you all enjoy the ending.**

 _Katniss POV_

A while later Gale scooped me up into his arms and deposited me on my bed. I clung to him desperately as he started to move away, then released him when I realised that he was climbing in beside me. He lay on his back and pulled me into his chest. I knew I needed to say something, to explain, but I couldn't, not yet. So for now we lay in contented silence.

Peeta and Haymitch didn't stay long after my meltdown. I had caught Peeta's eye over Gale's shoulder as they were leaving, and I thought I saw a glimpse of heartbreak in them. I was confused. We had talked about our relationship, and mutually agreed that we had both changed too much to make anything work. Was he just saying that at the time to keep me happy? Was he waiting on me getting better? I felt crushed at the thought. I didn't want to hurt him anymore than he already had been.

My worries grew when Haymitch came in at some point with Posy. She had been sent by Hazel to fetch Gale, but the biggest smile ever lit up on her face when she saw us.

"What do you want, Posy?" Gale asked, not unkindly.

"Mom sent me to fetch you," she murmured, the smile slipping off her beautiful face.

My heart began pounding painfully in my chest as anxiety robbed me of my breath. He can't go, not now, not ever. I wasn't going to let him go again, I'd follow him to two if I truly had to. Gale felt my panic somehow, and squeezed me tighter to him.

"I'm not going Posy, Katniss needs me." He replied. She smiled and nodded her head before rushing back out the door.

I returned his tight embrace gratefully. Then a sickening thought hit me. Was he only being kind to me because he could see I was hurting? That's who Gale was, kind to anyone he knew, no matter how he felt about them. How did I manage to forget that?

I sunk back into his warmth but was soon disturbed yet again by Haymitch. I actually growled in frustration, making Gale laugh. I smiled despite my annoyance. I hadn't heard his sweet laugh in so long, it warmed my heart.

"Come in," I said gruffly.

"Thank you darling," he said in a sarcastic tone. "Ever so gracious of you."

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"Sae is here, it's seven at night and she's made you two some dinner."

"We've been lying here for six hours!" I said surprised.

"Only feels like ten minutes," Gale replied sweetly. We had fallen asleep together, so I could see how we could loose track of time, but six hours?

"Do you want to eat?" I asked.

"I could eat if you could" he said. I smiled. He was the one who had been starving himself in his depressed state, yet it was me he was thinking of, even though I had listened to his stomach growling for the majority of the afternoon. I didn't feel like eating, but he needed too, so I made my decision.

"Yeah let's go" I said sitting up. Slightly light headed I got my bearings before getting off the bed. Gale got up after me and grabbed my hand. I smiled at the contact and led him downstairs.

Sae had cooked us a large feast of seasonal veg, mash, and a range of meats to choose from, along with a couple of pots of gravy. She had shouted at us both for not taking better care of ourselves before leaving through the back door. Gale stared after her for a few seconds before shrugging his shoulders and sitting down to eat.

We ate in contented silence before moving over to the chairs in front of the fire. I stared at the roaring embers for a long minute or two before deciding that it was time to talk. I couldn't run away from it any more.

"So you saw her then?" I didn't need to clarify any more than that, he already knew. His body tensed and I longed to comfort him.

"Yeah," he croaked. He took a couple of gulps of his water before carrying on. "I didn't believe mum when she told me, so I went looking for her. I searched every room in that Palace until I found her. It was one of the most painful sights I have ever seen."

"Where was she?" I whispered.

"In a room on the ground floor. She was laid on a table, with a sheet over her. I pulled back the sheet and my fears were realised." he gulped, trying desperately to hold back the tears. "She looked good though. Like her normal self...like she was sleeping."

Tears trickled down my face thick and fast. Not in all these years, did I ever imagine that Gale would be grieving for Prim, just as badly as I was.

"I'm so sorry." I wept. "I'm sorry that I blamed you." He didn't comfort me. Not this time.

"Why did you?" He asked, a slight steeliness to his voice. I gulped down my tears and tried to answer as best as I could.

"Because it was easier too," he looked at me angrily, and a gulped again, trying to sort out my own jumbled thoughts.

"I was mad at myself for not keeping her safe. Mad at my mum for not keeping a better eye on her. Mad at you for being a soldier, and doing your duty, rather than being at thirteen, safe, with her. Mad at Snow for starting the war, and mad at Coin for betraying me.

"It was Snow who had informed me of what she'd done, I didn't believe him of course, not at first. But then, as I was preparing to shoot him, it all clicked in my brain. Coin had sacrificed those innocent kids to win the war, because no one would believe that it wasn't snow who'd done it. And she sacrificed Prim to further unhinge me, so that I couldn't overthrow her when she came into power. I would be too damaged. So I killed her, and then he choked on his own blood, and I'd gotten my revenge.

"But the grief hit and the pain set in, and I had ran out of people to blame. So I blamed you, and I couldn't kill you like I killed them, so I cut you off.

"What your mom said was right, I was so wrapped up in my grief and anger that I didn't stop to think about your grief, your anger, and how Coin had used you as a pawn.

"I was just mad that you didn't stay with her."

"I had to protect _you_!" He said tersely.

"I know. You choose me and not her, and I was so mad at you for that."

"I wanted my part in the war, Katniss. I wanted to see an end to Snow as much as you did. But I couldn't let you do it alone, I was too terrified of loosing you. But if I had have had any inkling of what Coin was planning. I would've stayed to protect her. No matter how much pain it caused seeing you out there. Because I knew that if she was to die then I would loose you any ways. But I swear I thought she was safe."

"I know," I said smiling half heartedly. "So did I."

"But Snow, and I were so infested in watching each other that neither the two of us saw through Coins plans. I didn't keep a close enough eye on her, and it haunts me every day."

"Only a true psychopath could see her plans, but as you said, Snow was watching you." I smiled and nodded.

"I am truly sorry though" I reiterated.

"It's OK," Gale sighed.

"No it's not." I snapped. "Look at you Gale, it's visible how badly you've been suffering, and I caused that. But in all of the scenarios that I ran through my head, I never imagined this version."

"You've been thinking about me?" He asked coyly. I smiled at his cuteness.

"Of course I have." He smiled at my response.

"I didn't intend on becoming like this." he sighed. "Sure, I was heartbroken at not only loosing Prim, but loosing you too, but my work kept my focus, for a short while. But after a few years I had earned enough money to support my family for a while, and daily work became unnecessary. Mom was working too, and bringing in her own wage, so the need for me to do so became less and less. I didn't really enjoy the job, so without the need I lost interest. I began skipping days, turning up late, finishing early. So I was signed off work. I began sleeping in late, then most of the day, then practically all day. I stopped eating, because I didn't see the point. I didn't realise what was happening until it was too late to pull myself out. That's why Posy came here. I guess she just knew that the only person who could help me was you."

"She done us both a favour. I may have had a routine, and things to do, but it was all an act. I was never OK. I couldn't ever be OK because I kept running away from the truth rather than facing it. I didn't have you." He smiled sadly.

"Two people who can't live without each other but too afraid to seek the other out." He stated. I smiled at the irony.

"I have a lot to thank Posy for, seeing you both has gave me the kick up the butt I needed to face the truth and put my past behind me. She brought you back to me, and I am never letting you go again." he looked at me sharply. His expression unreadable, but I could still see the faint glimmer of hope in his steel grey eyes that I adored.

"I will do whatever it takes to gain you back. For however long it takes. I will even move to two for you if you wanted me too. Just tell me what I need to do" I begged.

"Tell me you love me," he said simply. I wasn't expecting that, I was expecting all sorts of demands, I was expecting to have to grovel. Then I remembered, that wasn't who Gale was.

"I do love you, and I'm sorry that I ever made you doubt that I did." I replied earnestly. He let out a shaky breath.

"Good cause I was never going to leave anyway. I love you too much to be without you any longer." I smiled and launched myself at him, devouring his lips with mine in our first ever passionate kiss.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few days later I found myself walking over to Peeta's to try and talk to him. I had it seen him at all since my break down. Gale stayed, and so did his family. We spent the time talking through all the hurt and suffering, trying to forgive and forget. Hazel and I talked as well. I apologised profusely for a ll the pain I had caused, and she apologised for all the things she had said.

There was no need though, she'd given me the wake up call that I'd needed, and I told her as much. Still along with Gale, she apologised for letting Haymitch convince them to go to two, rather than give me the help that I needed. They both new it was a bad idea, but neither knew if I wanted or needed them. Haymitch managed to convince them that I didn't. Something I intended to talk to him about, but first, and more importantly I needed to speak with Peeta.

I needed to mend things, Peeta meant too much to me for me to let him go without doing everything I could to convince him not too. Something which Gale was trying hard to accept. But he was still weary. We would eventually build up the trust needed for him to not worry, it would just take time.

So I knocked on his door and waited with baited breath on his response.

He was surprised to see me to say the least. "Kat...Katniss," he stammered.

"Hi. Can I come in?" I asked shyly.

"Sure" he said desperately in a steadier voice.

I walked in through the door and straight into the kitchen. It was the place where I liked to be the most.

"I haven't seen you in three days." I said as I perched in one of the six chairs at the dining table.

"Yeah well, _he's_ there, " he said sharply.

"You can't stay away forever just because Gale is here."

"Not for forever, just until he leaves?" he asked confused.

"Gale's not leaving, he's here for good." He looked horrified.

"You forgave him?" he spat.

"There was nothing to forgive him for. In fact it was him that needed to forgive me."

"He killed Prim!"

"No he didn't," I said more fiercely than I'd intended. "He was used as a pawn in Coins games, he had no clue that his ideas where being used as weapons. Coin took his anger, and his weaknesses for me, and used it too kill all those innocent kids. He had no idea Prim was even there, until after she was dead."

Peeta looked deflated. He mulled things over for a few minutes before saying anything. "And you're sure?"

"One hundred percent." I said instantly. "For a long time I was mad at him for Prim, when he'd nothing to do with it. But I was also mad at him for coming out to fight rather than staying to protect her. He choose me instead of her, but if he had half of an inkling, he'd have turned traitor to protect her. "

"Yeah he would've," he said sadly. "So you choose him?"

"It's always been him." I stated matter of factly.

His heartbroken expression stopped me in my tracks. Had he really expected more?

"Did you expect anything different?"

"I always expected something more."

"But...but we had agreed?"

"No Katniss you agreed. I only went along with it all because I thought you just needed time."

"I was always truthful about how I felt. Peeta I love you, as my friend. I always will, we've been through too much together."

"You've always loved him then?"

"I realised after the first games, but I didn't know how I felt about you. That's why I never said nor done anything. I was trying not to hurt you both."

"So you're not in live with me, not even a little bit?" He asked hopefully.

"No. I'm sorry. I love you and care for you deeply, and don't want to lose you as a friend."

"I'll need some time Katniss. To move on."

"OK, but I will see you again, won't I?"

"Of course you will. As you said, we've been through too much together." I smiled and hugged him tight before going home to Gale.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I arrived home to a sight to behold. My hallway was covered in Primrose petals that trailed all the way into the kitchen. I picked a handful off the floor and sniffed them. A calmness washed over me and I smiled happily and made my way to the kitchen.

A lovely dinner had been made and laid on the table. Gale jumped up quickly when he saw that I had entered. He smiled at me nervously.

"What's all this?" I asked unable to keep the smile off my face.

"Please sit?" He asked and I did as he requested. "I have something very important to ask you. You know I love you. I love you more than anything I'm this world, and I know we've talked about this before...but things are different now. Snow is dead, and the games died with him. So now I hope you'll change you mind." My heart thundered hard in my chest as he knelt on one knee and produced a ring box. He opened it to reveal a stunning white gold ring set with a black diamond. It was different, unique, and unexpected.

"Catnip, will you please do me the huge honour of marrying me?"

"Are you sure?" I asked. His face fell. "It's not too soon?" I hastened to add.

"More like five years late, the way I see it?" He smiled coyly.

"Then yes!" I declared.

"Really?"

"Of course," I laughed. "It's as you said, things are different now."

His smile was wider than I'd ever seen before, and he gently placed the ring on my finger with a trembling hand. I matched his smile and kissed him passionately.

"It's beautiful," I smiled honestly. Looking down on it and admiring how it looked on my finger.

"Unique, and different, just like you. I know we have a lot of healing to do, but we can do it together."

I nodded and kissed him again. Now that I thought about it. It really wasn't too soon, we had waited long enough. And we truly wouldn't be able to love on from the horrors we'd faced without each other. He was my rock, my everything. We may have lost someone incredibly important to us, and we would truly never be the same again. But we could mend our broken hearts, put the past hurt and suffering behind us, and try to find that small bit of normal together.


End file.
